Valentine's Day is around the corner and I am all about showing people and yourself love. On the other hand, I feel like there is this growing trend of, "I'm not single, I'm dating myself," well personally I am just fucking single. I am okay with that. I would be a horrible date for myself! Today I am going to share how to be fearlessly single in your twenties because we could all use some advice on how to be happily single.
1. Acknowledge Your Singleness
I am single AF. When I acknowledge that I can begin to either make changes so I am not single or sit in that fact. When you use phrases like, "I'm dating myself," they sound nice but they really cushion the sting of being single. Recognizing exactly what you are means that you can be it or change it.
Acknowledge the fact that you are single and decide what you will do about that fact. You may be single, and your reaction to that is to put yourself out there and date OR you may decide that you are single and love it that way.
There is a sense of calmness in being able to say exactly what you are without sugarcoating it. The first step to being fearlessly single is to recognize that you are in fact single and that you aren't any of those phrases that people try to use to seem less single.
Be single, celebrate it, shout it out on the rooftops, be loud about it.
2. Stop Treating Yourself Bad Because Of It
If you are fearlessly single you are LOVIN' IT! There is no hatred or feeling bad about being single (at least not 99% of the time, I'll give you 1% of the time to feel bad about it, it's only fair!)
Don't let other people in your life make you feel bad because you are single. Don't envy relationships. The Green-Eyed Monster looks good on no one. Acknowledge that they are fearlessly in a relationship and get the frack over it.
You and your friends in relationships can simultaneously be happy.
When someone asks you why you are still single, tell them the truth, "Because I am happy single," or maybe "Because I want to be," or whatever your reason is. Don't make a million excuses, fearlessly single people tackle the question head on.
Be good to yourself during this time of singleness. You are a badass after all.
3. Relish The Tiny Things That Make Being Single Awesome
There are a million things about being single that are awesome. Relish those things, be happy about those things. Here are just a few:
- You can read in the bed as late as you want.
- You can watch whatever shows you want at the pace you want.
- You can take up your entire bed with no fear, hell, you can even starfish across that thing.
- You don't have to have to deal with other people's love or hatred of foods you hate or love.
- You don't have to let your significant other know where you are going all the time.
These are just some of the many tiny things that make being single awesome.
Instead of thinking about the things you may or may not be missing, lean into all the amazing stuff you have going on. We always think about negative things first, but if you want to come to terms with your singleness you need to learn the power of positive thinking.
4. Create A Life You Would Be Proud Of With Or Without A Date
At the end of the day this is your one shot at life. There are no second chances, no extra lives, no other way about this life. This is not a rehearsal! You need to create a life that you would be proud to live with or without a date by your side.
So, work hard on yourself, for yourself. Don't think about what you are doing now in relation to a boyfriend or husband in the future. Don't stifle yourself or grow yourself in a certain way because of a future person. A date may come but it shouldn't be your sole reason for getting better and making moves in your own life.
Evaluate yourself, why are you doing what you are doing? Are you making adjustments in your life for the wrong reasons? Are you learning something or doing something for a future boo or are you doing it for you?
Your goal every day should be living a life that you don't want to get away from. You have my permission (although you don't need it) to fearlessly go after your dreams.
5. Realize That You Are Not Alone
There is this thing that has been happening so much that it's been the butt of so many comedic jokes and romantic comedies: when you are single all you see is couples and when you are in a relationship all you see is single people.
It may seem that you are all alone in this singleness journey, but trust me you are not. You are not the only one who is riding solo and you will never be the only one who is doing so.
Don't you ever ever ever feel bad about the fact that you are single, not on Valentine's Day, and not any other day of the year.
There is so much more to this life than having a relationship. Work on your relationship with yourself, God, your family, your friends, etc. Work on being an awesome person each and everyday. Never feel that you are alone in this life, you have so many people who are there for you, even if it's just strangers on the internet.
Being single doesn't have to suck, y'all. Be fearlessly single with these tips and live your best life. Never feel that you have to change to fit this preconceived notion of what a 20-something is supposed to be. Don't shut out love, but don't change your whole routine for it either.